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Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

A segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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What did the IT guy say to his wife after she complained about their love life?

Did you try turning me off and on again?

Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives?

Crimea River

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

Where do children that die home alone go?

HEAVEN!!

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

Why did the lizards get a divorce?

A reptile dysfunction

Mariguana Jokes More Mariguana Jokes

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time?

Tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))

Why thank you... are you single?

Girl: No, I am a dentist.

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog?

Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.

Why ya going to the airport?

Flying Somewhere?": "How'd you guess?": "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?": "Aspen.": "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."

Snake Charmer Jokes More Snake Charmer Jokes

Why couldn't the snake charmer charm his snake?

He had a reptile dysfunction

What do snake charmers do in the rain?

Turn on their windshield vipers.

Color Jokes More Color Jokes

What do colors say when they laugh?

Huehuehuehuehuehuehuehue

What color should I get?

Keep in mind my walls are eggshell and cinnamon.