Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

A segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?

Because he had a reptile dysfunction!

Why couldn't the lizard be aroused?

He had a reptile dysfunction (I just made that up but I'm sure it's been thought of)

Suffer Jokes More Suffer Jokes

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

Why are people who suffers from insomnia so excited at the moment?

They only have to sleep 3 more times until Christmas

E Reptile Dysfunction Jokes More E Reptile Dysfunction Jokes

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

E-reptile dysfunction

What do you call a Snake game that doesn't work?

An E-Reptile dysfunction

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do you call it when a Dinosaur can't perform in bed?

A reptile dysfunction. Thank high me for that one.

What, why?

Is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do farts and children have in common?

You love your own, but hate everyone else's.

Where is children?

Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

Complain Jokes More Complain Jokes

How many dads does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to put it in and one to complain that he never screws anything anymore.

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

Can't complain

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the pony say to the doctor when he had a sore throat?

I'm a little hoarse.

What did the doctor say when he delivered a blonde-haired baby to an expecting Chinese couple?

Two Wongs don't make a white

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was the stadium so cool?

It was full of fans. Thank thank you for your time

How many times do you have to tickle a squid to make it laugh?

Ten tickles