Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

A segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

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What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of bees don't die?

Zom-bees

What type of curry sets fire to the rain?

A-Dhal

Ba Dum Tss Jokes More Ba Dum Tss Jokes

How do you greet a slice of bread in Germany?

Gluten tag! Ba-dum tss.

Why is the letter 'c' afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are not c's. *** *ba dum tss*

Bedroom Jokes More Bedroom Jokes

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction

What has 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs in the evening and 6 legs at night?

I've trapped it in my bedroom, send help...

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did Lex Luthor hide his money laundering from Superman?

He used a krypton-currency.

How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity.

Mariguana Jokes More Mariguana Jokes

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What kind of tree grows in your hand?

A palm tree.

Why did the baby kangaroo not want to grow up?

It was a wannabe wallaby!

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What tattoo should I get?

TATTOO ARTIST: Something meaningful that represents love and connection. ME: One ravioli on my thigh please.

How do you know if someone truly loves fast food?

It has a special place in their hearts