Reptile Jokes

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

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What's the coldest type of reptile?

Blizzards.

What do Reptiles love to smoke?

Mariguana

What do you use to cover a herpetarium floor?

Reptiles.

What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What kind of weed do reptiles smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call a reptile wearing a vest?

An investigator. Ba dum tss.

What do you call a reptile...?

What do you call a reptile who says "But Cowardly Lion......You've had courage..... This entire....Time"?

What did the lizard get at home depot?

Reptile.

What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups?

A segreGATOR

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

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What do you call a reptile who anyways starts fights?

An Insti-Gator

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What do you call the reptile that started the fight?

The insti-gator.

What do you call a reptile that works as a detective?

An investigator.

What do you call an std that only reptiles can get?

Gatoraids.

What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?

A navi-gator!

What do you call a reptile that's good with directions?

A Navigator

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Because they can't stop saving their work.

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Me: How Him: With their google-y eyes

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Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake?

Someone else's!

Why don't Geordies use scales?

Because they can weigh things by eye man.

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How many black women does it take to change a lightbulb?

All of them-----no one wants to be the charcoal-colored one.

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EUROPE: How can we save our economy AMERICA: What color is this dress!

Lizard Jokes More Lizard Jokes

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?

He had him newt-ered.

Why couldn't the lizard get it up?

He had ereptile dysfunction.

Dinosaur Jokes More Dinosaur Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur from the Middle East?

An Iran-asaurus!

Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide &amp seek with?

An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

What do you call an English teacher five feet tall covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald?

Sir!

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

A chocolate BAAA

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!

Why did the cookie visit the doctor?

He was feeling a little crummy.

Reptile Dysfunction Jokes More Reptile Dysfunction Jokes

Why couldn't the lizard have any children?

It had a reptile dysfunction!

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom?

A reptile dysfunction