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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?

Make him wear shoes.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How many light bulbs does it take to change a man?

Just one, if you put it in the right place.

What separates the men from the apes?

The Mediterranean Sea.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

How do you stop millions of children from going to bed hungry every night?

Take away their beds...

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Bite Jokes More Bite Jokes

What's worse than biting an apple and finding a worm?

Biting an apple and finding half a worm

Why couldn't the Gorilla pitcher make it in the major leagues?

His balk was worse than his bite!

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat?

Polyunsaturated

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What are a plumbers least favorite kind of shoe?

Clogs.

What shoes does a tumblr girl wear?

Ughs*