Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

Which aardvark holds the speed record?

The nearsighted aardvark who wrapped his tongue around a motorcycle!

What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?

Steven Hawking

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What Do You Call it When Someone Steals Someone Else's Coffee?

A Mugging.

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap?

A farte

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you call a politician in a house fire?

Burning Sanders!

What does a burnt pizza and a pregnant girl have in common?

Someone that didn't take it out in time.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What's the difference between RPGs and Drunken Style Kung Fu?

In the first, you must drink a lot of liquids before battle, but in the latter, you only pretend.

Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?

For people that don't want anything to drink