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Why did the hipster burn his tongue?

Because he drank his coffee before it was cool.

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Tongue Jokes More Tongue Jokes

What tastes good but doesn't smell good?

A tongue.

How do lesbian carpenters work?

No studs. All tongue in groove.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

What do you call two Canadians buy coffee?

Double double doubles

Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely?

An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....

What did one pile of burning wood say to the other?

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Where do drinks go on vacation?

Coaster Rica

Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?

For people that don't want anything to drink