Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

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Join Jokes More Join Jokes

What did "Nock" say to "K"?

You can join us, as long as you stay quiet.

What did Vincent van Gogh call himself when he joined the Justice League?

The Starry Knight

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why can't you hear a viola on a digital recording?

Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Where'd ya get it?

The parrot says, "Africa." (I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)

Army Jokes More Army Jokes

What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?

You've got no beef soldier!

What do you call an army of toddlers?

Infantry.

Pig Jokes More Pig Jokes

When is a pig an ecologist?

When he recycles garbage into ham.

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy?

It was Valenswine's Day.

Food Jokes More Food Jokes

How do you make a horse fast?

You take away his food.

What food do all basketball players hate?

Turnover.