Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you get when a deaf guy tries to talk to you at a urinal?

Wet

What are snails trying to do?

Their best

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Jesus die on the cross?

He forgot the safe word

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What do nails like to do on the weekend?

Get hammered.

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

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What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

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What does Reddit share in common with the real world?

A messed up system of karma

How many times I have to tell you to stop making such a mess?

Go to your room..

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

What's the same about nail care and black people?

They're both manicures

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Pedicure Jokes More Pedicure Jokes

Why did the remorseful child-molester paint his toe-nails?

He thought it would be a pedicure. sorry.

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.