Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What movie should we see?

ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*

How are Harambe memes keeping up?

Cincinnati Zoo keeps trying to shoot them down.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What was the most pivotal point in Jesus' ministry?

When he turned the tables on the Temple vendors!

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system?

A spider

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What's the most messed up trap for Santa?

A Nicolas Cage.

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Pedicure Jokes More Pedicure Jokes

How long is a pedicure?

2 feet.

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.