Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

What did the melon say to his daughter after she tried to get married?

You cant-elope!

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why do Mexicans keep naming their child Jesus?

Jesus wasn't Mexican. He was human.

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

How can we possibly improve this?

Man invents wheel of cheese* "Nailed it!"

Enjoy Jokes More Enjoy Jokes

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

What do cannibals and politicians have in common?

They both enjoy handshakes.

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What did the messed up psychologist have for dinner?

Freud rice.

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

Pedicure Jokes More Pedicure Jokes

Why did the husband bring his wife's sick dog to the salon?

He was trying to get her pedicure.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.