Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

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Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

Why did the kids with the fancy bus try so hard?

Fo' Frizzle

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What do you get when you cross Jesus with a dinosaur?

A velocirapture

What is Jesus' favorite workout?

Pontius Pilates

Nail Jokes More Nail Jokes

What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans?

The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails.

What do you call a Nun that bites her nails?

A bad Habit.

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Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing?

He could really get into the vaultz.

Why didn't the pirate chessplayer enjoy his crackers?

Because they were stale, matey!

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

What did the tree say when it messed up?

It was an oakcident.

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

Pedicure Jokes More Pedicure Jokes

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.

How long is a pedicure?

2 feet.