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What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

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What do you call electricity still flowing today?

Current.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What do you call a groan-inducing, kindergarten-level pun?

Top post on /r/Jokes.

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can't whistle. (X-post from r/dadjokes)

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What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

What does Uncle Vernon not do today?

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