Calculate Jokes

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

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Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Where do the sith get their clothes?

Darth Mall

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

Why didn't the fiddler have to pay for anything?

Because it was all on the house

What do you call an aging actor who has finally paid off his house?

Mortgage freeman.

Calculus Teacher Jokes More Calculus Teacher Jokes

What does a calculus teacher say when a student doesn't get it?

Bro, do you even function?

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

Calculator Jokes More Calculator Jokes

How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?

Calculator!

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

Why couldn't the 5 year old go to the pirate movie?

It was rated PG-13.

Why can't children watch pirate movies?

Because they're rated

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why are calculators grey and boring?

Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:(

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 70?

She got a frog stuck in her throat at 69.

Cigarette Jokes More Cigarette Jokes

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

Why do baby clothes have pockets?

I've never heard a baby say: "cigarettes,phone and keys alright let's go"