Calculate Jokes

How do you calculate a girl's impulse?

F dt bich

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What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

How do they calculate global warming?

Al-gore-ythms

Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

How do you calculate the length of rosemary?

Sprigonometry

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What would be Jeopardy?

If this popular game show told a joke, it would put the punchline first.

What do you call joke told by a duck?

A wise quack.

Goodbye Jokes More Goodbye Jokes

How do you say goodbye to 230,000 Indonesians?

A big wave.

How do you say goodbye to an Indonesian?

With a big wave

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What's a nice guys favorite type of wood?

M'hogany

What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire?

Mourning wood

Number Jokes More Number Jokes

Why did the accountant cross the street?

To crunch numbers.

Why did the little boy flush a pencil down the toilet?

Because it was a Number 2.

Volume Jokes More Volume Jokes

What is the volume of a disk with radius z and height a?

Pi * z * z * a

How Am I Doing?

I'll Tell You How I'm Doing Volumes: 1-8

Obi Wan Jokes More Obi Wan Jokes

What would Obi Wan be called if he were Mexican?

Obi Juan Kenobi.

Why did Luke Skywalker bluff in a game of poker?

He heard Obi-Wan in his head saying Out, I shall let myself.

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

Why do the cops monitor the store that sells upper-case letters for computers?

It's a shifty business.

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How do farmers count their cattle?

With a culator

How many legs does an elephant have if you count his trunk as a leg?

Four. Because calling the trunk a leg doesnt make it a leg.