What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

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What did the Dalai Lama say to the guy in the kebab shop?

Make me one with everything.

Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut?

So he can find router space.

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Why are all liquor stores haunted?

Because they're full of spirits.

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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What do Catholic Star Wars fans say?

In the name of the Vader, the Luke, and the Obi-Wan Kenobi

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

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When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

How do the Sith ascend?

Elevaders

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Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.

Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut