What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called?

A Sith.

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What do you call a mathematician who drinks too much?

A functioning alcoholic.

What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called?

A Sith.

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Where did Santa meet his wife?

Conjunction junction, they specialize in hooking up words, phrases, and Clauses

Which bounty hunter specializes in tracking elves?

Jingle Fett

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Where do Siths do their shopping?

At the Darth Mall

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.