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What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Who's there! Astor! Astor who?

Astor the ball is over!

How do you shave your balls?

After thinking for a few moments I say "Carefully"

End Jokes More End Jokes

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

Where'd he go?

And the angel said, "He's at IHOP for never-ending pancakes" and they were like, "Word."

Dye Jokes More Dye Jokes

What was the name of that hair salon next to the graveyard?

I've got it! It's called "Curl Up and Dye."

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How did Adolf tie his shoes?

With two knotzies.

What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo

Strand Jokes More Strand Jokes

What do you call a #robot stranded in the ocean?

A row bot.

What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night?

Numchucks.

Yarn Jokes More Yarn Jokes

What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.