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What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

What's the difference between Elton John's chin and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods hasn't hit as many balls.

End Jokes More End Jokes

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.

What is the best joke you have heard that was on the end of a Popsicle stick?

Here is mine: Q: Where do snowmen dance --------- A: At the snowball. Best joke at the end of a Popsicle stick

Dye Jokes More Dye Jokes

What was the name of that hair salon next to the graveyard?

I've got it! It's called "Curl Up and Dye."

How do you call it when a blond girl dyes her hair brunette?

Artificial Intelligence.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?

A boo-tie.

Strand Jokes More Strand Jokes

What do you call a blond with one strand of hair dyed black?

A glimmer of hope

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

Here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

Yarn Jokes More Yarn Jokes

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late?

Your spinning me a yarn here!

How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.