Liquor Store Jokes

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

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Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet?

Sir, this is a liquor store.

Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught?

Because he couldn't throw away the evidence

Why are all liquor stores haunted?

Because they're full of spirits.

What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?

Spirits

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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What do you call a temple-running frog?

Amphibiana Jones.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

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What's the difference between a government bond and a man?

The bond matures.*

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.

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What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed?

Out of the way!

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?

I don't know, how?: Take the S away from "safe" and the F out of "way.": But there's no F in way.:

Eye Contact Jokes More Eye Contact Jokes

What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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What rhymes with "hug me"?

Chutney.

What if sharks hug with their mouths?

Just sayin.

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Why did the French chef go to the police?

Escargot stolen.

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

Boo Jokes More Boo Jokes

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

Why does everyone love when a ghost goes to a party?

Because he always brings the boos

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How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.