Liquor Store Jokes

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

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Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

How much for the giant, walk-in medicine cabinet?

Sir, this is a liquor store.

Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught?

Because he couldn't throw away the evidence

Why are all liquor stores haunted?

Because they're full of spirits.

What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?

Spirits

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

Banned from the petting zoo...

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in. P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

Why did the Muslim fail his Chemistry Exam?

Because to him, alcohol is not a solution.

What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What's green and walks through walls?

Casper the Friendly Pickle.

What's the difference between Ice Age 4 and Batman The Dark Knight?

The kids walked out of Ice Age 4... Alive

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?

It stole the show!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What does a guy from Philly dunk his pretzel in?

A girl from Jersey.

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

Sith Jokes More Sith Jokes

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

Why was there a dyslexic stormtrooper?

Sith happens.

Hug Jokes More Hug Jokes

What if sharks hug with their mouths?

Just sayin.

Why is horse racing so romantic?

Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!