Eye Contact Jokes

Why do Men find it hard to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

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What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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0 Jokes More 0 Jokes

Why was the teacher arrested for writing in permanent marker?

He wrote "1 + 0 = 0" and then spent the rest of the lesson trying to rub one out...

Why was 9 mad at 0 after winning a game of bingo?

Because 0 1 2

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What's big and grey and wears a mask?

The elephantom of the opera!

What do you call a German guy wearing basketball shoes?

Herr Jordan

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

When the cop asks you "Do you know how fast you were going?

Do NOT respond with "I know, right!"

Asian Jokes More Asian Jokes

What does an Asian man do during an erection?

Vote.

What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?

All they talk about is the presidential erection

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What does Santa call his wife at tax time?

A dependent Claus.

What is the biggest difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?

Santa stops at three Ho's

13 Second Jokes More 13 Second Jokes

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

Chanel Jokes More Chanel Jokes

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

Why did the pregnant lady douche with Chanel No 5?

She wanted to chanel her inner child

M Jokes More M Jokes

Why is the new Zork game rated M for mature?

I guess it's too grue-some.

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)