Eye Contact Jokes

Why do Men find it hard to make eye contact?

Breasts don't have eyes.

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What'd u ask Santa for 6: a speed boat M: like a Lego boat?

6: no M: oh for the bath 6: no M: the pool 6: *doesnt break eye contact* no

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

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Lego Jokes More Lego Jokes

How late?

Cut to me trapped inside a tiny house made from Lego* I've no idea to be honest with you...

How do you measure a Lego minifigure's shoe size?

In square feet.

Liquor Store Jokes More Liquor Store Jokes

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

Methodist Jokes More Methodist Jokes

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store.

What's the difference between Baptists and Methodists?

Methodists will make eye contact at the liquor store.

Baptist Jokes More Baptist Jokes

What's the difference between a Methodist and a Baptist?

A Methodist will say "hi" to you at the liquor store

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name!

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

What happened out there?

I dont kn-OMG WHAT IS THAT *interviewer doesnt look* Ugh didnt work on u either

What did the DNA say to the mRNA?

I'm better without U.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What would have to break to give you 18?

A condom

Why did Romeo and Juliet break up?

They were in a relationship!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish sheep herder?

One says, "hey, you! Get off my cloud!", and the other one says, "hey, McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between a good friend and a really good friend?

A good friend will help you move house A really good friend will help you move a body!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Whats the difference between a preschool and a taliban camp?

I don't know man. I just fly the drones.

How do you call sons of australians and germans?

Men at Work