Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket?

Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money.

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Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you call a chicken at the north pole?

Lost.

What's the best way to lose some pounds?

Leave the EU.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Why did the car thief drill holes in the air conditioning units of the cars he stole?

Because he my take your ride but he will never take your freon.

What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath?

One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Where does an elephant carry its laptop?

In its trunk.

Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Why does the Catholic Church have so much money?

Because Jesus saves.

What do you call an unfinished inflow of money?

Incomplete.

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card?

One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets.

What do you get when you do laundry and accidentally leave chocolate in your pocket?

Lindt choclate.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

What has two legs and bleeds?

Half of your dog...I hit it with my car.