Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

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What did the Russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time?

You're my brother in arms!

What's three times worse than OCD?

OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait the last time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait, the second time didn't feel right. OCD, OCD, OCD. Wait...

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Why Do Philosophers Have Such Good Teeth?

Because they philos all the time!

How many philosophers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Well it depends on what you mean by change.