Why is it so hard to explain metaphors to a kleptomaniac?

Because they always take things... Literally

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What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!

Why don't kleptomaniacs have a sense of humor?

Because they take everything, literally....

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Why don't kleptomaniacs understand metaphors?

Because they take everything, literally.

What's a metaphor?

Winning the game tournament!