How do they tie things down on the space station?

They use astro knots.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Why did the school principal forbid the use of true/false tests?

It was part of the school's anti Boolean campaign.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Where did you get that thing?

Parrot says, "Africa."

What's the only thing that grows in Ferguson?

The crime rate.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Did you hear about the two silk worms in a race?

It ended in a tie.

What was the deal with that dude wearing a tie and an apron at brunch?

He kept writing down everything we said, he gave me the crepes.