Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!

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Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What if they found the face of Jesus in a piece of toast but it was actually Jesus?

This is my body, I'm nice with jam.

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

Why didn't the rope get any presents this year?

He was very knotty.

Why did the rope get put in timeout?

Because he was very knotty.

Pitch Jokes More Pitch Jokes

What did the umpire say when Randy Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Fowl ball.

What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have?

A fastball - a sizzler.

Footballer Jokes More Footballer Jokes

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?

Sorry it was a freak hic!

How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

Skipper Jokes More Skipper Jokes

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!