Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!

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Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce on its face?

Chicken Caesar salad.

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

How does a sloth hang itself?

By trying to jump rope.

How do you get an emo out of a tree?

Untie the rope...

Pitch Jokes More Pitch Jokes

How about a really bad food court where planes land?

Pitch for every airport

What did the umpire say when Randy Johnson hit a bird with his pitch?

Fowl ball.

Footballer Jokes More Footballer Jokes

What did the German Footballer name his pet?

Schweinsteiger.

How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

Skipper Jokes More Skipper Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms or legs...... sitting at your door?

Matt....floating in your pool Bob....hanging on your wall Art.... water skiing Skipper.

Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch?

He was the skipper!