How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

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What did the chicken say?

What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road?. Don't worry ill get over it.

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he sent him off to college?

Bison

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What's the same with 9/11 and Goliath and the giant?

They were both caused by a message from god.

How do you get a Samsung owner to throw their phone out the window?

End your text with "this message will self destruct in 10 seconds"

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What does a footballer and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!