How do footballers send messages?

By referee-mail.

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How do you send a sandwich to someone on a computer?

In bytes

How much work does it take to send a packet across the internet?

20 Watts

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What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger etc. for free?

It's not about the money. It's about sending a message!

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What does a footballer and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!

What tea do footballers drink?

Penaltea!