How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

Well dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

How many guitar players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2. One to screw it in and another to say, "I could do that".

What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four.

Sheet Music Jokes More Sheet Music Jokes

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.