Sheet Music Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

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How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

What's the best way to get your guitar player to turn down the volume?

Give him the sheet music.

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

Why did the composer spend all his time in bed?

He wrote sheet music.

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What do you call memories of zombies?

FLESHBACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do zombies communicate in times of war?

Cryptic code.

Amp Jokes More Amp Jokes

What is the difference between the people in Dubai &amp?

The people in Abu Dhabi? The people in Dubai don't watch The Flintstones, but the people in Abu Dhabi Do!

What do The Walking Dead and Fast &amp Furious have in common?

Dead walkers

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is the best way to lose money?

Lend it to Greece.

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

How do you confuse an irishman?

Lean 3 shovels against the wall and tell him to take his pick.

Why was the little ant confused?

Because his uncles are aunts.

Composer Jokes More Composer Jokes

What do composers prepare their ingredients on?

A Chopin board

Why do composers win debates?

Because when their opponent makes a point, they always respond with a valid counterpoint.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you make a small fortune out of horses?

Start off with a large fortune!

What is dark and hairy on the outside, soft and moist on the inside, starts with a C, ends with a T, and has a U and an N in it?

A coconut

Guitar Player Jokes More Guitar Player Jokes

Why did Sally the stripper stop dating the guitar player?

He kept trying to tune her G string.

How do you get the guitar player off of your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?

I'm going to finish my book." "I didn't know you were writing a book." "I'm not, I'm reading one."

Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.