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Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences?

Time served

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How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

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A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

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Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?

Whichever can reduce inflation.