Serve Jokes

Who serves the toilet?

The buuttt-lerrr!

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What kind of beer was Dr. Stephen Strange serving?

It was his own Strange Brew. You would be Moranic not to like it.

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

How do tennis players prefer their steak?

Wimbledon and nicely served.

What do you call a professional tennis player that keeps serving out?

Novak Chokeovic

How does the enthusiastic chef serve his burgers?

With relish

What did the patriarchy serve at their dinner party?

Traditional gender rolls.

What is the name of the restaurant chain that serves sushi burritos?

Japotle.

What does Ebenezer Scrooge serve at his Christmas Party?

Humburgers!

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

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Why do they never serve a beer at math party?

Because you can't drink and derive

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

Why does Jesus and bartenders have so much in common?

Bcoz they are single, have no kids, got nailed and serve alcoholic beverage.

What kind of chili do they serve at the cannibal prison??

Chili CON Carne!

What do you call a poodle that serves coffee?

A Bark-ista! I said a bark-ista Coral.

How do Malaysian airlines serve all their drinks?

On the rocks

Where is the first tennis match mentioned in the Bible?

When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court

Why don't golf courses ever serve sandwiches?

They always turn out to be sub par.

What do you call a bartender giving two dolphins a drink?

Serving dual porpoises!

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Why shouldn't you join Alcoholics Anonymous on Thanksgiving?

Because all they serve is cold turkey.

What do you do when a woman serves you bad sushi?

Sue she

How do you best serve burned food?

Coal'd.

Who served as the 45th Vice President of the United States?

Warning: Gore

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

Coop-cakes!

What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night?

Disco Stew!

What do they serve you in a Viatnamese McDonalds?

NAMburgers

Why is revenge a dish best served cold?

Because it's just-ice

What's the difference between a blonde and McDonald's?

A blonde serves more people in a night.

What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag?

Grounds for termination!

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What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub?

The landlord said "Sorry we don't serve spirits."

Who's there! Bart! Bart who?

Bart-enders serve drinks!

What do you call someone who serves smelly drinks?

A Fartender

What do you call gungan served raw?

Tartare Binks...

Why are there no guys named William serving in the army?

Because they dislike the phrase "Fire at Will"

What do you call a tavern that only serves non-alcoholic drinks?

A pro-teen bar

Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants?

Because they serve Poutine.

Why are the waiters in here so nasty?

Waiter: Look at who they have to serve.

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

What food do Japanese people serve as an apology when they have offended someone?

Miso sorry...

How do Muslims like their food served?

Allah Carte

Why do American beer companies always advise that their beer should be served cold?

So you can tell it apart from urine

How do Super Heroes like their drinks served?

WITH JUST ICE!

Why is revenge a dish best served with honey?

Because honey is what you find at the end of bee trails (betrayals)

Which state serves the smallest soft drinks?

Minnesota.

Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?

Where Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

What happens when you don't serve drinks at a party?

There's no punch line.

What do ghosts serve for dessert?

I Scream.

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

Why do bad break-dancers get reduced prison sentences?

Time served

Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games?

They didn't have enough pitchers.

How does Dracula like to have his food served?

In bite-sized pieces.

What did the dolphin king say at the funeral of his faithful servant?

You have served your porpoise.

Why do the Irish serve up their chili with 139 beans?

Because one more would be one-farty bowl of chili!

What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?

Yellow Cake

What did the ghost serve at his Halloween party?

Hallowieners!

How does Snoop Dogg get revenge?

Faux pho fo' foe. Served cold of course. I also doubt Snoop has many enemies.

What's the difference between KFC and /R/Jokes?

What you get served at KFC is original.

How long does a United States Congressman serve?

Until he gets caught.

What do you call a people who serve in Thailand?

Thai Fighters

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?

Coloured eggrolls!

Why did the undercover cop pose as a waiter?

So he could protect and serve.

What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.

Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay?

He had served his sentence.

Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail?

Because of sanitation reasons.

What do you call a tavern that only serves baby foxes and adult felines?

Kit Cat Bar

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

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What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag?

Grounds for termination!

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

Tennis Player Jokes More Tennis Player Jokes

Why shouldn't you date a tennis player?

Because love means nothing to them.

Why don't tennis players get married?

Because to them love means nothing.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

"Have another beer."

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of dish does LeBron like?

Anything with curry in it.

What kind of rice puts you to sleep?

Ray Rice

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

What did the poles do during world war two?

They held the telephone wires off the ground.

Where does biggest potato grow?

Under the ground.

Benedict Jokes More Benedict Jokes

What do you call some who's too pooped to Pope?

Ex-Benedict

Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

Christmas Party Jokes More Christmas Party Jokes

How does NASA organize their Christmas party?

They planet

What did Dracula say at the Christmas party?

Fancy a bite

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

What is the difference between a feminist studies major and a pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four.

Why did the cab driver did not get time for his family?

Because he was Uber busy.