Breakfast Jokes

What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?

Synonym rolls.

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What does Tim Cook have for breakfast in the morning?

Not Apple Jacks

What did Helen Keller say after she finished her bowl of cereal for breakfast?

I may be blind, but I can see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

What do you call a large vehicle that travels the world serving breakfast?

Universal cereal bus

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

What does as electronic engineer make for breakfast?

Ohmlettes

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

What do you call a fart in the middle of the night? What do you call a fart in the mourning?

A midnight snack A hot Breakfast

What is white and disturbs your breakfast?

An avalanche

Where do Irish people go for breakfast?

Drunkin Donuts

What are two things dinosaurs can't have for dinner?

Breakfast and lunch.

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What do you feed someone in a coma from breakfast?

Coma-toast.

What does an alcoholic neckbeard drink for breakfast?

M'mosa

What did the yogi have for breakfast?

An lette

What does Salvador Dali have for breakfast?

Surreal.

What does a cannibal drink for breakfast?

A cup of Joe.

What do Buddhist monks have for breakfast?

Ommm' lettes!

What do you call a rapper who likes honey for breakfast?

Sugar Puff Daddy

What does a duck like to have for breakfast?

Quacker Oats

Why do French people only ever have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is

What did the abortionist have for breakfast?

Scrambled eggs =p

What did King Arthur have for breakfast?

Eggcalibur.

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

Instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

What do you call breakfast?

Breaking fast yooo!

What about breakfast teaches us the difference between "interested" and "committed"?

In a ham and egg sandwich, the chicken had an interest, but the pig is committed.

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

What do sick cannibals have for breakfast?

Vitamin bills!

What does a pirate drink for breakfast?

Arrrrange juice.

What did the Cryptologist have for breakfast?

Hash with alot of Salt

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

What does a mexican magician make for breakfast?

Toast-tah-dahs!

What did the brain dead guy have for breakfast?

Comatoast!

Why does your sister have yeast and shoe polish for breakfast?

Because she wants to rise and shine.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why did a man throw his breakfast out the window?

He was a cereal defenestrator.

What did Freddy Mercury have for breakfast?

Bacon and AIDS (I'm so sorry Freddy)

What did Hannibal Lector have for breakfast?

Kevin Bacon.... And Jon Hamm.

What'd you have for breakfast?

Me: A bowl of Oreos. CW: Lol you mean Cherrios Me: No.

Why do French people only have one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Where do tired linedancers go for Breakfast?

A. Ihop

What does Laquisha have for breakfast?

Plan B

How is your diet going?

Horrible. I had eggs for breakfast." "Scrambled " "Cadbury."

How do you know that a dinosaur ate Kel for breakfast?

Because there was a kellogg in the toilet

What is an Italian's favorite type of breakfast?

Serie-a*l

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!

What do you call taking a dump after breakfast?

A Brexit

What do you want for breakfast?

Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast

What does a Oompa Loompa Rabbi have for breakfast?

Orange Juice

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

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Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning?

Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.

Who's there! Ben! Ben who?

Ben knocking on this door all morning!

Banker Jokes More Banker Jokes

Why won't bankers go to the opera?

Because they quickly lose interest

What did the banker get for Christmas?

My 401k

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

Why would Helen Keller be a horrible driver?

Because she's dead.

How did Helen Keller burn her face?

She answered the waffle iron. How did she burn the other side? They called back.

Sharpen Jokes More Sharpen Jokes

How does a French blacksmith sharpen his blade?

He hon(hon hon)s it.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What did Cinderella say before she got to the ball?

Aghagghhghgagaggag (Those are supposed to be gagging noises)

Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?

Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

What is the Dothraki font of choice?

Kaleebri

Ice Cream Jokes More Ice Cream Jokes

Why did little Dan dropped his ice cream?

He was hit by a buss

What's worse than dropping your ice cream?

The Holocaust.

Tim Cook Jokes More Tim Cook Jokes

How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128

What's Tim Cook's new nickname?

Jack The Ripper