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What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

What else do you need when you use your Batman shampoo?

Conditioner Gordon.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What's a cats favorite Mexican dish?

A purr-rito

What happens when you pet a cat in the opposite direction?

You rub them the wrong way

Claw Jokes More Claw Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Sharpen Jokes More Sharpen Jokes

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

How does a French blacksmith sharpen his blade?

He hon(hon hon)s it.