Claw Jokes

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

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What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws?

An acrocat!

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Who sings "Love me tender" and makes Christmas toys?

Santa's little Elvis.

What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas?

Nothing. But he promised he'd make it up to them on the next one.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Where are you and Mom going tonight?

Me: To meet with your teacher. 7: Oh, you don't need to. I already saw her today.

What do Will and Jaden Smith like about today?

It's After Earth Day.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why does Pokémon have only one save file per game?

I mean think about it, One for Charmander One for Squirtle and one for your second charmander. (found that but it's against rules to post links lol so I'll just leave that here for a good laugh)

How do pirates know that they exist?

They think, therefore they arrrr

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The vacuum has the dirtbag on the inside.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Semicolon Jokes More Semicolon Jokes

What is the definition of a semicolon?

Something I usually have after a long night of drinking.

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Lion Jokes More Lion Jokes

What is the fiercest animal in the savanna?

The. Because the lion is not as fierce as it seems...

How do you stop a Lion from charging?

Have a successful dentistry practise.

Forehead Jokes More Forehead Jokes

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

What's the difference between a person with a forehead and a fivehead?

A sixth sense

Sandy Claw Jokes More Sandy Claw Jokes

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?

Because they both have "Sandy claws"!

What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.