What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

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What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today?

Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!

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What is the difference between cats and commas?

This might be better suited for but I think its more a joke Cats have claws at the ends of it's paws commas haves pauses at the ends of its clause.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

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What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that.

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

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Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

Marilyn Monroe Jokes More Marilyn Monroe Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in?

Blon-D