What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

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What are you doing today?

2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure ' 2: 'I'm definite'.

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

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What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What did the cat use to sharpen its claws?

Me. Ow.

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What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Who's there! Coffin! Coffin who?

Coffin and spluttering!

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Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.

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What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in?

Blon-D

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.