What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

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How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

Whats the complement to a 40 degree angle?

My you're looking "acute" today.

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What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

What works in a circus walks a tightrope and has claws?

An acrocat!

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What do a coffin and a condom have in common?

They're both filled with stiffs one's coming one's going.

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What would they put on his coffin?

A lid!

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

The lid said, "Twist to open."

Marilyn Monroe Jokes More Marilyn Monroe Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

What "D" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in?

Blon-D