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What would they put on his coffin?

A lid!

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Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would George Washington do if he were alive right now?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the inside of her coffin.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Marilyn Monroe being doing if she were alive today?

Clawing at the lid of her coffin.

Why is ok to leave the lid off a basket of socialist crabs?

Because whenever one of them climbs to the top, the others drag it back down.