What would you do if I died?

Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How many cynics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Doesn't matter. Lightbulb is going to die anyway.

How did Wendy die?

The baconator

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why don't tennis players get married?

Because to them love means nothing.

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What do you want your husbands gravestone to say?

Wife: "Nothing. I want a traditional, non-talking one."

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.