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What would you do if I died?

Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why are there walls around a cemetery?

Because people are dying to get in.

Why did the programmer get a job working with big data when his wife died?

He just needed a little bit of Clojure.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away?

1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

What type of fruit is impossible to marry?

Cantaloupe

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What did your husband say?

He said 'Thank you'.

How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, "How many women have you slept with?

He proudly replied, "Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."