Sea Jokes

Why is little Annie's shoe floating in the sea?

Because the shark burped.

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What do you call a hippie that is out at sea on a raft?

He was far out man. --

What's a Pirate's favorite letter?

Rrrrrrrr? You think it be R but it be sea

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing! They just WAVED. SEA what I did there? I'm SHORE you did. Let MINNOW if you are not getting it. SHELL I continue?? No?.. I guess I'll stop WHALE I'm ahead. Thanks ladies and gentlefish

What does Brian Johnson say on the beach?

I see the sea...

What did the sea say to the sand?

Nothing, it simply waved.

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.

Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible?

They're plane to sea

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

If they lived by the bay they'd be bagels.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, then they'd be called bagels!

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What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Long time no sea.

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always Russian around.

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

They consume a lot of vitamin SEA!

Why are there so many fish in the sea?

They're always getting hooked up

Why do seagulls fly by the sea?

Because if they flew by the bay they'd be bagels.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea, not the bay?

If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels

What do you call a Mexican stationed out at sea?

A Navy Bean

What do you call a snail in the sea?

A snailor.

What did the sea say to the river?

You can run but you can't tide!

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What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

Your boat, gently down the stream...

What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm?

One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

What's a pirrrate's favorite letterrr?

R?" NOOO!!! It's the Sea!!!

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

What is the most important thing for a hungry shark?

A-fish-in-sea.

What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck.

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!

Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?

Because a tuna can!

What did the sea say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul?

Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel.

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

A start.

Why is the sea so strong?

It has a lot of mussels.

How does a sea urchin search the internet?

Sea urchingine

Why do seagulls only fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they'd be called Baygulls.

What lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

The Navy blues What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time The Dock

How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: rocks boat Her: Hey! Me: rocks faster Her: Can we PLEASE go steady?

Me: I do.

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

To promote off-shore drilling.

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Jack the kipper!

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

I don't know I have DirecTV.

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

He wanted to chase the catfish!

Which two regions have the most people named John?

SEA / NA

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved. Christmas crackers are the worst.

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

One can't see to go the other can't go to sea.

What is Rick Grimes' favorite thing under the sea?

CORALL!

What lives in the sea and yells?

A clam shouter.

How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea?

Skates!

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

Photos-in-the-seas!

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

Art...floating in the sea Bob...laying on the floor Matt...down in a hole Phil...sitting in a pot Stu...

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?

Long time no sea.

What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

Bouncing on a buoy (boy)

What's the similarity between Hellen Keller and a sad pirate?

Neither of them got to sea!

What be a Pirates favorite letter?

Ye all must be willin' to guess Arrrr. But ye be wrong! It be the Sea! Yearha har har har

Why do seagulls live by the Sea..?

Because if they lived by the Bay, they would be bagels! Honestly this cracked me up when I first heard it.

Who has eight pistols and terrorizes the seas?

Billy the Squid.

What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids?

Jack The Kipper.

What is the difference between a Portuguese woman and a sea lion?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

What does your mother do for a living?

She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur.

What did the mermaid do last Sunday night?

She went to sea a movie.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Because if they did they would be Bagels

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

A bee in a submarine!

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

They keep getting lost at sea.

What do you call 10 politicians at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?

Al Caprawn!

What did the fish skeleton say?

Long time, no sea.

What do you call a singing goat that lives by the sea?

Billy Ocean

What do you do if the Ocean stares at you?

Sea it and Wave

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?

Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there I'm shore you did, beach.

What is white sugary has whiskers and floats on the sea?

A catameringue!

What is slimy and wobbly tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?

A red jellyfish.

What lies on the bottom of the sea and shakes?

A nervous wreck! I first heard this at xmas 1952 (64 years ago) and it still makes me smile.

How do you cut the sea in half?

With a seesaw

What do you call 20,000 lawyers under the sea?

A good start.

What did one sea say to the other sea?

Nothing, they just waved.

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Sea Jokes

Why is little Annie's shoe floating in the sea?

Love

What do you call a hippie that is out at sea on a raft?

What's a Pirate's favorite letter?

Why is the sea salty?

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?

What does Brian Johnson say on the beach?

What did the sea say to the sand?

Why do you want to be buried at sea?

Why are airplane crashes in the ocean so visible?

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did fish on the kitchen bench say to the other fish?

Why are firetrucks red?

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Why do whales have really good immune systems?

Why are there so many fish in the sea?

Why do seagulls fly by the sea?

Why do seagulls fly over the sea, not the bay?

What do you call a Mexican stationed out at sea?

What do you call a snail in the sea?

What did the sea say to the river?

Birthday State of Mind

What do the Greeks sing while at sea?

What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm?

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work?

What's a pirrrate's favorite letterrr?

What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

What is the most important thing for a hungry shark?

What is at the bottom of the sea and shakes?

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?

What did the sea say to the beach?

Your Age Is Only Math

Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul?

What do you call ten sets of bagpipes at the bottom of the sea?

Why is the sea so strong?

How does a sea urchin search the internet?

Why do seagulls only fly over the sea?

What lies at the bottom of the sea and twitches?

What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?

How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: *rocks boat* Her: Hey! Me: *rocks faster* Her: Can we PLEASE go steady?

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Why did Bill go out to sea on an aircraft carrier?

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Why did the dog jump into the sea?

Which two regions have the most people named John?

What did the sea say to the shore?

What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison?

What is Rick Grimes' favorite thing under the sea?

What lives in the sea and yells?

How do you get around fast on the bottom of the sea?

What did one plant say to another when it dropped its camera into the sea?

What do you call a man with no arms &amp no legs......hanging on the wall?

What did the Loch Ness Monster say to his friend?

What was the blond doing in the middle of the sea?

What's the similarity between Hellen Keller and a sad pirate?

What be a Pirates favorite letter?

Why do seagulls live by the Sea..?

Who has eight pistols and terrorizes the seas?

What lives in the sea and preys on mermaids?

What is the difference between a Portuguese woman and a sea lion?

What does your mother do for a living?

What did the mermaid do last Sunday night?

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay?

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

Why can't pirates recite the alphabet?

What do you call 10 politicians at the bottom of the sea?

Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?

What did the fish skeleton say?

What do you call a singing goat that lives by the sea?

What do you do if the Ocean stares at you?

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

What did the one ocean say to the other ocean?

What is white sugary has whiskers and floats on the sea?

How to Get a Girlfriend: Out at Sea Me: rocks boat Her: Hey! Me: rocks faster Her: Can we PLEASE go steady?