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Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

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Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why should a good driver always carry weed in his car?

So he always hits the green when he's driving.

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?

He puts down the three and carries the one.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

Why do astronauts bring their phone into space?

Because they can get 4g

Pocket Jokes More Pocket Jokes

Why is the iPhone 6 the coolest smart phone around?

Carry it around in your pocket for a while and it'll be on every selfie you take.

What's the difference between an Nvidia card and an AMD card?

One empties your pocket. The other makes Hot Pockets.

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case:

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.