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Case Jokes

Why do ducks make the best detectives?

They always quack the case

We've Got This Love Thing Down

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We've Got This Love Thing Down

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

What should be done in case of apparent drowning?

Take the parent out of the water

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella?

In case of reindeer. And because I caribou.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?

Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

Love Card

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Love Card

Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

What's the deal with my laptop?

I'm sitting there typing and the battery drains, does this ever happen to you? So this little message pops up: Plug in or find another power source. Do you get that message? What other power source are they talking about? Well, I can't find that cable, so I'll go ahead and plug in to the hamster wheel generator I keep just in case. That's my other power source.

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?

In case he got a hole-in-one!

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle?

In case of any night mares!

Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks.

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case:

What is the magic word?

Son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

How does one sink, that which floats?

How does one sync, that which floats Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats.

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

What do I do when my luggage gets tired?

I rest my case.

Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?

They had no leads.

Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

It is usually still in the case.

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

In case she wanted black coffee.

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields?

It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back...

How many gears does a French battle tank have?

Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?

A. So they can park in handicapped zones.

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency?

It's always prepared.

Why are you packing condoms for a sailing trip with 10 guys?

I'm saying "Just in case." Now I'm traveling with a bigger case.

What is a detective duck supposed to do?

Quack the case!

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.

Why is there a baseball bat under your bed?

Me: In case there's a burglar. 5: Me: 5: Why do burglars like to play baseball

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

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Pokemon Jokes More Pokemon Jokes

Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon?

Rattata

Where is the Pokemon?

Peek-a-chu!

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What are the differences and similarities of flint Michigan and The Walking Dead universe?

They are both post apocalyptic but only one produces brand new cars.

What is the similarity between a weiner and a Rubik's Cube?

The more you twist them the harder they get.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?

One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)

Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?

She thought children should be seen and not herded!

Increase Jokes More Increase Jokes

What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply?

Mas cow.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.

Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?

A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

Release Jokes More Release Jokes

Why do people call memes "dank"?

Because they release dopameme!

Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay?

He had served his sentence.

Bad Case Jokes More Bad Case Jokes

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

Why should you always tend sheep near a hospital?

Because at any moment they could bleet out

Why did the sheep move house?

The neighbours were baaastsrds.