Case Jokes

Why do ducks make the best detectives?

They always quack the case

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

What should be done in case of apparent drowning?

Take the parent out of the water

Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy?

In case you wake the sleeping pills!

Why did the doe give the faun an umbrella?

In case of reindeer. And because I caribou.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common?

In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.

Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game?

Its in case he gets a hole-in-one.

Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants?

Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to

How does a man show he's planning for the future?

He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why did the golfer wear a extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why does Luigi bring an extra pair of overalls when he golfs?

In case he gets a hole-in-one

Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?

In case he got a hole-in-one!

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Why did the cowboy sleep with his saddle?

In case of any night mares!

Why is it always a good idea to pack asparagus when you go camping?

In case your other agus breaks.

What did the otter say to the guy whose ankle he pooped on?

Spraint your ankle!" Just in case:

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

What do I do when my luggage gets tired?

I rest my case.

Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?

They had no leads.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?

It is usually still in the case.

Why did... Why did the golfer wear an extra pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha Ha

Why did the blonde keep a empty carton of milk in the fridge?

In case she wanted black coffee.

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

Why did Tiger Woods bring three socks instead of two?

In case he got a hole in one.

What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

Why does Tiger Woods bring an extra pair of socks while golfing?

In case he gets a hole in one.

Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants?

In case he got a hole in one.

Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields?

It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back...

How many gears does a French battle tank have?

Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?

A. So they can park in handicapped zones.

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency?

It's always prepared.

What is a detective duck supposed to do?

Quack the case!

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.

Why does a golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he gets a hole in one!

Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?

In case he got a hole-in-one.

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

Why should you always take two pairs of trousers when you play golf?

In case you get a hole in one!

Why does Mr Tayto carry a phone in his top pocket?

In case Johnny Onion Rings!

Did you know you should always take an extra pair of pants golfing?

Just in case you get a hole in one.

Why do ducks make great detectives?

They always quack the case.

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep.

A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

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10 Guy Jokes More 10 Guy Jokes

How much time do I have left, doctor?

Doctor: 10 Guy: 10 what! 10 days, 10 months, 10 years Doctor: 9...8...7...6...5...

Type Jokes More Type Jokes

What type of cheese is made backwards?

Edam

What type of missiles were used in the Movie Top Gun?

Tom" Cruise Missiles.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What is the definition of diplomacy?

The ability to tell a person to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.

Who does he look like?

I'm like, 'Your husband'

Brief Case Jokes More Brief Case Jokes

What type of luggage only speaks in short sentences?

A brief case.

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

Branch manager.

Sheep Jokes More Sheep Jokes

What rating did Moody's give to the sheep?

BAAA

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

Banned from the petting zoo...

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What did the red dog say to the blue dog?

Nothing, dogs can't speak.

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if a complete stranger is vegan?

They already told you.

Why didn't Isaac Newton drink wine?

He knew better than to drink and derive.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

Who are you talking to in there?

M: *stumbles out of pantry with Nutella all over my face* nobody