Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

What looks better... than roses your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What TV personality lives in your phone?

SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)

How can you tell if a bee is on the phone?

You get a buzzy signal.

Tequila Jokes More Tequila Jokes

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.

What's an alcoholic's favorite book?

Tequila mocking bird

Text Jokes More Text Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

What do you do at a red light?

Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields?

It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back...

What did you just do?

CAT: *bolts for no apparent reason* ME: *bolts in the opposite direction in case she's after both of us*

4th Jokes More 4th Jokes

What do they do for the 4th of July in England?

Sulk.

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Bad Idea Jokes More Bad Idea Jokes

Why do we keep putting criminals behind bars?

Putting criminals behind bars seems like a bad idea once you consider all the alcohol they're now next to

Whose bad idea was it to text him a 4th time just in case his phone was being weird?

Tequila, I'm looking at you.