What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

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Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back?

The mall is hiring new Santas.

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

Felon Jokes More Felon Jokes

Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.