Felon Jokes

Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

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What do recent college graduates and felons have in common?

It takes three to five years before anyone will hire them.

Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets?

Felons can't buy guns

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Obsess Jokes More Obsess Jokes

Why was Osama Bin Laden obsessed with Eminem?

He was an Afghani-Stan.

What's the deal with reddit being obsessed about puns?

I've never... META... group of people so obsessed with puns before.. Fine, I'll leave :(:(

Energy Jokes More Energy Jokes

How much energy does hova's DeLorean require?

1.21 jigga watts

Why do Electricians make terrible revolutionaries?

They know resistance is a waste of energy.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Whats the difference between an easily offended person and a gun?

A gun actually does something when triggered.

What kinds of guns do T-Rex's prefer?

Mainly SMALL ARMS.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why do you look surprised in all your selfies?

Didn't you know you were taking the picture

What has two legs and looks like a spider?

A spider. (They have two legs and an additional six legs also)

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What brings you to speed dating?

Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

What does the customer say to the worker as he leaves the store after buying a discounted item?

Good buy.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer?

Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Stair Jokes More Stair Jokes

How does a Chinese family name their children?

They throw 3-9 pots and pans down a flight of stairs.

What did the elevator say to the stairs?

Never mind, I'll escalator

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years?

Soviet Reunion Terrible and painful, I know.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.