Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What are you gonna argue about with your family this Thanksgiving?

1. Minimum wage 2. Police reform 3. Why are there raisins in this, Louise

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

What does Rob Schneider say when he visits Canada?

Yukon do it!

What do you get when you visit the dentist with a dollar?

Buck-teeth!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between people in Dubai and people in Abu Dhabi?

People in Dubai don't watch the Flinstones, but people in Abu Dhabi do.

What's the difference between a line dance instructor and a dentist?

A. A dentist lets you sit down while he hurts you.

Bruce Lee Jokes More Bruce Lee Jokes

When in Canada, what is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable?

Carrot-eh

What's Bruce Lee's favorite hotel to stay at?

The HYATT!!

Stamp Jokes More Stamp Jokes

Why did the boy jump up and down on the letter?

He heard that you have to stamp letters or the post office won't send them.

Why do frogs have webbed feet?

To stamp out forest fires!

Religion Jokes More Religion Jokes

What do you call a man with no religion?

Godfrey

Which religion faces the most Resistance?

Hinduism... Om......

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How many of you believe in telekinesis?

Raise MY hand!

What do I get when I raise up a platform to play Mozart?

Amadeus on my dais.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the man build his house out of a tree instead of bricks?

Because he thought it wood look better!

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl