Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

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What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

Why is Islam called the religion of peace?

After you leave the religion, you rest in peace.

What is the opposite of peace?

Is the question.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

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What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

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Donald Jokes More Donald Jokes

What is the difference between Donald and a peace of sh..?

NOTHING....!!!

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot in the foxhole?

Because Donald ducked.

Rust Jokes More Rust Jokes

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

How do you stop a metal from rusting?

Use some antioxidants

Spell Jokes More Spell Jokes

Why is it spelled 'cancelled' in the UK, but 'canceled' in the US?

Because the US gave the UK that L back in 1776.

What's the favorite subject of young witches at school?

Spelling.

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Finally realized why my plant sits around doing nothing all day...

He loves his pot.

How do you know that you're a peaceful country?

When you realize that you can't spell country without UN.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

Why was christopher never in the same place?

Because he's always Walken

Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place?

Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why did the Teletubbies find it hard to pee?

They only have one Tinkie-Winkie

What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom?

It's Gonna Be Pee

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you get if you try to cross a mouse with a skunk?

Dirty looks from the mouse!

Why do Italian men grow mustaches?

To try to look like their mothers.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What's the difference between Americans and Brits?

Brits think 200 miles is a long distance, Americans think 200 years is a long time.

What's the American settler's spirit animal?

The groundhog.