Peace Jokes

What did the stamp say to the envelope?

Stick with me man... We'll go places. Peace. Hmath out.

March Madness Sale

Birthday State of Mind

$5.99

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What did the neckbeard say while giving the eulogy for his extremely flatulent friend?

Rip in peace

What is the opposite of peace?

Is the question.

Why do you want to be Jedi?

Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army To keep the peace

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

What did GB say to EU?

Peace out, EUROn EUROwn!

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

March Madness Sale

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$14.99 $19.99

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

You might also enjoy:

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

What did Ghost A say to Ghost B?

Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.

How do you know when you are a drug addict?

When you realize that you have had 2 strepsils within one hour.

Sh Jokes More Sh Jokes

What's the difference between a sniper with bad eyesight and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can't hit, the other hoots but can't sh...

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the black chicken cross the road?

It was being chased by the kluck kluck klan

Why did Italy cross the road?

To switch sides

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

What country is the most fragile?

China!

Which country do doctors hate?

Any

Rest Jokes More Rest Jokes

How much rest does a bad Sheppard get?

Not a ton, he has a lot of sheepless nights.

What happens to the water level in the aquarium when one of the fish dies?

It rises because the rest of the fishes are crying:'(

Islam Jokes More Islam Jokes

What do you call the fruit of Islam?

Quran-berries

What do you call Mr. LaBeouf when he converts to Islam?

Shi'a LaBeouf

Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why the hate for necromancers?

T They're just trying to raise a family.

What do you call a family of 8 rabbits?

One rabbyte

Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What did the doctor say When a fruit walked into his office that was feeling like a vegetable?

What's tomato with you!

Why don't the Beastie Boys juggle vegetables anymore?

Because they kept making the beets... MMMMMM DROPPPPP