Bmw Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

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What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What is the tastiest car ever?

The BMW I8.

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

What do you call a blonde in a BMW?

Optional.

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

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Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Ferrari?

I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman with a very round head?

Sophia. (sphere) it works best spoken

Why don't women propose to men?

Because the guy'd always be disappointed when she took out a ring.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What happens when Mario parks his car outside the wrong castle?

He gets Toad

How do you prove that your dog loves you more than your wife?

Lock them both in the trunk of the car for an hour, then open it up and see which one of them is happier to see you.

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What do you call a wheel with clothes?

Attire. My brother told this to me and it gave me a chuckle.

Why did the old lady put wheels on her rocking chair?

She wanted to rock and roll

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why don't they sell GPSs in Italy?

Because all the roads lead to Rome.

Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road and a dead lawyer on the side of the road?

There are skidmarks before the dog.

Volkswagen Jokes More Volkswagen Jokes

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

What car do insects drive?

A Volkswagen automobile.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

Why is there all this hate against necromancers?

They are just trying to raise a family in peace.

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What do you call a midget psychic running from the law?

A small medium at large.

Which purse runs from the law?

Disburse!