Bmw Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

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What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What is the tastiest car ever?

The BMW I8.

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target?

Because it was being driven by a woman

Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

What do you call a blonde in a BMW?

Optional.

What is the difference between a BMW and a baby carriage?

The baby carriage is the result of last year's fun on wheels.

What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW?

I don't have a new BMW in my garage.

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

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Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

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Fit Jokes More Fit Jokes

What's the difference between a biscuit and a monster?

You can dip a biscuit in your tea but a monster is too big to fit in the cup.

Dad, can you put my shoes on?

I don't think they'll fit me.

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and Ferrari?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What does your girlfriend and my garage have in common?

I pull out of both of them.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why are there commentators for televised sports?

We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv

Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent?

Because they contain a lot of fowl language.

Deal Jokes More Deal Jokes

Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with?

Thor.

What's the deal with airline food?

Buy 2 get 1 free

Design Jokes More Design Jokes

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

What do you call a bra designed for neutrois?

Ze-bra

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

What's brown and furry on the inside and clear on the outside?

King Kong in clingfilm

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

What's a catholic's favourite type of car?

A convertible.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Working legs.

How can you tell if the code is broken?

SW Engineering joke) If India worked on it