Bmw Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

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What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What is the tastiest car ever?

The BMW I8.

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

Why couldn't the BMW fit into a narrow parking stall at Target?

Because it was being driven by a woman

Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

What do you call a blonde in a BMW?

Optional.

What is the difference between a BMW and a baby carriage?

The baby carriage is the result of last year's fun on wheels.

What's the difference between a sliced up body and a new BMW?

I don't have a new BMW in my garage.

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

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Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a Hummer?

The porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

Darn!

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What Pokemon likes to run?

Lucardio!

What runs all day but never gets tired?

Water.

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Why are high end clocks designed and made in Switzerland?

As they don't get arrested for doing their job as they do in America!

What's the difference between a regular product and a fancy one?

The regular one says "Made in China". The fancy one says "Designed in the USA. Made in China."

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What happens if you put a mirror in a garage?

A mirage!

What is the difference between 1000 dead babies and a Ferrari?

I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

Inside Jokes More Inside Jokes

What's black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls?

Ghost avocado.

What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?

A mouse sandwich!

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?

A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.

What do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

Wheel Jokes More Wheel Jokes

What has one wheel, spins, but never moves?

A Ferris wheel.

What did the pirate say after his first-mate stuck the wheel in his pants?

ARGHH! You're driving me nuts!

Volkswagen Jokes More Volkswagen Jokes

What car do insects drive?

A Volkswagen automobile.

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible