Bmw Jokes

What don't BMWs have that all other manufacturers do?

Turn signals

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What are mixed feelings?

Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW.

What is the tastiest car ever?

The BMW I8.

What did the BMW say to the Audi on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.

Why do men like BMWs?

Because they can spell it.

What do you call a blonde in a BMW?

Optional.

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

What's the difference between me and a pigeon?

A pigeon can make a deposit on a BMW

Whats a dentists favorite time of day?

The time of day he get into his BMW to go home from the dentists office after touching mouths all day

Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A1: Because they can spell it. A2: Because they can spell BWM.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What is the difference between a Greek spearman and a pale beer?

One is hoplite, and the other a light hops.

Slice Jokes More Slice Jokes

Why did the crab take the last slice of pizza?

Because he's shellfish!

When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?

When it's been sliced.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why is the orange Rolling down the road?

Because it's run out of juice!!!!!! (:

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the elephant paint its nails red?

So it could hide in the strawberry patch.... Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch? No? See, it worked!

Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What did everyone do after the Super Bowl was over?

Watch the second half.

Whats happening?

FB=Whats on your mind FourSquare= Where am I Quora=what Youtube=What Im watching. LinkedIn=Whats in it for me

Mother Jokes More Mother Jokes

Where am I?

Dad: GO ASK YOUR MOTHER!

What's the downside to bigamy?

More than one mother-in-law.

Volkswagen Jokes More Volkswagen Jokes

What do you get when BMW, Volkswagen, and Callaway design a car together?

A Mini Golf.

Why was Tom Cruise hired by Volkswagen?

Emission Impossible

Edge Jokes More Edge Jokes

What do you call milk at the edge of a cliff?

Legendary

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.