Pea Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What are peas attracted to?

Chickpeas

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What's the most polite meal?

Peas and franks.

Why did the lettuce get arrested?

For disturbing the peas!

Why did the green bean go to jail?

He was disturbing the peas.

What's a hippies favourite food?

Peas, man.

Why did the orange move to veggieland?

So he could live in peas and hominy.

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

Inflate it.

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal?

Peas and hominy

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What do bees do if they don't want to drive?

Wait at the buzz stop.

What do you do if a cow is in the middle of the road you're driving on?

Steer clear

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

Why did Henry VIII have so many wives?

He liked to chop and change!

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs

Roast Chicken Jokes More Roast Chicken Jokes

Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?

Because they're both full of stuffing!

What's the difference between roast chicken and pea soup?

I can roast chicken but I can't pea soup

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What's the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It goes through your pants without even making a hole.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

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What happens when Hillary throws relevant questions?

Donald Ducks

Why did the kid throw the watch out the window?

So time would fly.

Trap Jokes More Trap Jokes

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!

What Metallica song does Captain America hate?

Trapped Under Ice.

Teacup Jokes More Teacup Jokes

Where did the Martian put his teacup?

On his flying saucer.

What do you call a wizard holding a teacup?

A saucer-er!