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How can you tell if an American has a conceal carry permit?

They'll tell you.

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American Jokes More American Jokes

What dog would you want on your American football team?

A golden receiver!

Why do American tourists talk so loudly?

So that they can hear each other over their clothes

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if a person's a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Why does the news keep telling people the pilot was depressed?

Does any of this really matter...

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

What do you call a German grocery store that carries everything but fish?

Not Sea Food.

Who's the most popular guy in the nudist camp?

The one who can carry two cups of coffee AND a dozen donurs!

Permit Jokes More Permit Jokes

Why wasn't drinking permitted on the Oregon trail?

It was important not to fall off the wagon.

What is the only alcoholic beverage Muslim extremists are permitted to drink?

Smirnoff ISIS