Middle East Jokes

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

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How Did I Make It To The Middle East?

Iran there.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What do you call a myth from the middle east?

A turban legend

Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east?

Allah Garden.

What's the Middle East's favorite candy?

YemenHeads

Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east?

Because there's Targets around every corner.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

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What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there are too many Targets

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

When someone fed a genie alfredo

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Where do you see yourself in 2020?

I DON'T KNOW I DON'T HAVE 4 YEAR VISION!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call someone who knows all?

Nostril-damus. &ampnbsp Works better if you read the joke out loud.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you call a woman who wants lots of compensation?

Sue.

Why do women over 40 don't play hide and seek?

Because nobody is looking for them.

Bug Jokes More Bug Jokes

What do you call a bug on the moon?

A lunatic! (luna-tick)

What does a bug say when it accidentally breaks its exoskeleton?

You gotta be chitin me!

Target Jokes More Target Jokes

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

What did the throwing star say when I asked her if she could hit her target?

Of course, I'm shuriken.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the poor man sell yeast?

He wanted to make some doe!

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on Thanksgiving)

Compliment Jokes More Compliment Jokes

Why are Bananas and Chocolate Good friends?

They compliment each other nicely.

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

Jerusalem Jokes More Jerusalem Jokes

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

Why shouldn't you ever have an argument with Mobius?

Because they're always so one sided!

Why do vampires hate arguments?

Because they make themselves cross.