Middle East Jokes

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

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What's an argument in the Middle East but a compliment in the U.S.A?

You da bomb" "No, you da bomb!"

What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar

How Did I Make It To The Middle East?

Iran there.

What is the most popular kids show in the Middle East?

Dora the EXPLODER

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What is a goat herder known as in the Middle East?

A Pimp

Why aren't there any Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there's a Target on every corner

What do you call a myth from the middle east?

A turban legend

Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east?

Allah Garden.

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What's a good example that oil is a bad lubricant?

Middle East

What's the Middle East's favorite candy?

YemenHeads

What do you call innocent women and children dying in the middle east?

Freedom

Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east?

Because there's Targets around every corner.

Why can't there be peace in the Middle East?

It IS what it IS.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call a research facility in the middle east?

Darpa Darpa

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

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Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there are too many Targets

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

When someone fed a genie alfredo

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What do you call Call Of Duty in the middle east?

Tuesday

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

What do they call Counter-Strike in the Middle East?

Tuesday.

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Where do terrorists like to go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak Bar

Where do terrorists go for a drink?

The Allahu Ak-Bar.

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Why do Republicans hate lotion?

Because the directions say to apply it liberally.

Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Iraqi Jokes More Iraqi Jokes

What do Iraqi men do that gets them laid on the first date?

They give their women awesome Dinar.

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

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What is the most popular kids show in the Middle East?

Dora the EXPLODER

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Where do ISIS fighters go to purchase soda and candy?

Allahu snackbar!

What's the most popular pub in the Middle East?

The Allahu ak-Bar

Iran Jokes More Iran Jokes

How did I get out of Iraq?

Iran

How did I escape Iraq?

Iran

War Jokes More War Jokes

How does an octopus go to war?

Well-Armed

How do tacos fair in a war?

They tend to be shells of their former selves

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

They may have a Christian Bale in them.