Middle East Jokes

What do you call sheep in the Middle East?

Arak of lamb

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How Did I Make It To The Middle East?

Iran there.

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What language do bugs in the Middle East speak?

Scarabic

What do you call a myth from the middle east?

A turban legend

Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east?

Allah Garden.

What's the Middle East's favorite candy?

YemenHeads

Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east?

Because there's Targets around every corner.

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What do they call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids

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What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Why do people regard the middle east as the holy land?

Because they're constantly drilling for oil.

Why are there no Wal-Marts in the middle east?

Because there are too many Targets

What's the most disappointing country in the Middle East?

Oman

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

When someone fed a genie alfredo

What phrase is a compliment in America, but an argument in the Middle East?

No, YOU the bomb.

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

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Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness?

Mack-a-Dameon.

Why does Gandalf never dress as a pimp for Halloween?

Because he doesn't want to be taken as a conjurer of cheap tricks.

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Why did Batman leave church?

Because Christian Baled

What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?

A convertible.

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What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Which American president was not guilty?

Lincoln, he was in a cent

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What's the capital of Ohio?

Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.

Where in the hell are Dora the Explorer's parents?

Do they know she's riding a damn crocodile into a volcano

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What do uou call a hot dog in college?

A FRATwurst!

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

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What do you call a myth from the middle east?

A turban legend

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

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What does DMX say when he has trouble putting on a hoodie?

WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD WHERE DA HOOD AT?

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me: Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss