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Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant?

Abort - Bort - Bort!

Why is a banana the most attractive fruit?

Everyone finds it a-peeling.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What's pink, wrinkly and hangs out my underpants?

My mother.

What's black and white stinks and hangs from a line?

A drip dry skunk.

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

What did the doctor say to the lizard who was complaining about problems performing in the bedroom?

It sounds like you have a reptile dysfunction.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What is Jesus' favourite dessert?

Propheteroles

How do we know Jesus wasn't good with the ladies?

He only got nailed once

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

How do you manage that?

I think it was when I tried to push it through the letterbox.

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?

They sit eggsaminations!

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

What's the mating call of a sorority girl?

O My GOd! I am so drunk.

What does a cow call his mate?

Oxfam.

John Jokes More John Jokes

Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends?

Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Mom: No, Never! Son: Well neither would he!

What do John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have in common?

They have the same middle name!

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What do you call a research facility in the middle east?

Darpa Darpa

Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

Why are you telling me this now?

Vader: Luke: Vader: I need a kidney.

What did Yoda say to Luke when he was constipated?

Try or try not, there is no do.

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

Why do you think your report should be on the net?

Because my marks are all 'E's.

Where is the best place to find discounted ray bans?

Gt marked as spam

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What other miracles can you do?

Jesus: I can varnish 'You mean vanish ' J: *running finger over a beautiful oak table* aha, not quite

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Why are people so worried about Hurricane Matthew's wind speeds?

I thought CAT4 was capped at 16Mbps.