Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across.

Why is a banana the most attractive fruit?

Everyone finds it a-peeling.

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

You only need a nail to hang a painting.

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxer shorts?

Your grandma.

Perform Jokes More Perform Jokes

Why won't A Flock of Seagulls perform in the Middle East?

Iran so far away

Why was the topologist confident about performing a vasectomy?

Because open balls are in his neighborhood

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why is Jesus always sad?

Because Jesus Christ (Cries)

What do you get when you cross Jesus and a couple of criminals?

A good Friday

Manage Jokes More Manage Jokes

Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games?

Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10.

What do you call the guy who manages my apartment building?

The thoooperintendent.

Mate Jokes More Mate Jokes

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

John Jokes More John Jokes

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

What do women in the Middle East and Millennials have in common?

If they go to college, they'll probably get stoned.

Why is the middle east the best place to open a store at the moment?

Because business is booming.

Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

What is the internal temperature of a Taunton?

Luke warm.

What did Luke say at Han and Leia's wedding?

May divorce be with you

Mark Jokes More Mark Jokes

What was it worth?

Two marks.

What's black, has bite marks and isn't needed any more?

Philip Hoffman's belt.

Miracle Jokes More Miracle Jokes

Who says Jesus couldn't perform miracles?

He managed to find mates named Matthew, Mark, Luke and John hanging around in the Middle East.

What do you call a black guy at college?

A miracle. Edit: I've hidden this post as I realized it was stupid and too offensive. I'm sorry, it was overly racist.

Matthew Jokes More Matthew Jokes

What does racist matthew mcconaughey say?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right

What do Hurricane Matthew and Kim Kardashian have in common?

They'll both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV