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What did the chopped wood say to the tree?

Run!

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Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why was the tree stretching?

So it could be timber!

What do the trees say when it rains?

Oh, what a relief!

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What do French fries and friends have in common?

They both die if you chop them

Why did the butcher die?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.