Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :(I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why do you want to run for President?

Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories.

Why did the customer choose T-Mobile?

Because he wanted the worst cellphone service in the world.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the gambler think he was in heaven?

He found his pair a' dice!

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What did the drowning number theorist say?

Logloglogloglogloglogloglogloglog

Why can't Ross & Phoebe ever drown?

Because David Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why did Matthew Arnold go swimming before writing Dover Beach?

Before writing the poem, he felt he had to do some sole-searching.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas?

Swimming goggles

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Where do you touch a woman to give yourself the most pleasure?

The back of her head.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

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Why is India surprised by the Brexit vote?

They didn't know you could get Britain to leave by voting.

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why did the crab hate to share?

He was a little shellfish.

What did you do?

Genocide. You " "I shared a 10 Funniest Autocorrect FAILS on Facebook." - Conversations in Hell

Millionaire Jokes More Millionaire Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?

A very witch person.

Who doesn't want to be a millionaire?

Well, certainly not a billionaire.