Fan Jokes

I've always been a fan or dark humor, so, what's the darkest joke you know. no boundaries, no getting offended. please don't downvote anyone because you find it offensive, that's life, get over it.

Why was the baseball team hot?

It didn't have any fans!

Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer?

He's not a fan of the shingle life.

What did Justin Bieber's biggest fan say to him when they met?

Nothing, hes a fan.

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Why did the fan blow itself?

Because it was turned on!

Why are baseball players so cool?

They always have their fans around.

Why don't soccer players get hot while running?

Because they hve so many fans

Who fans?

Tardis..... I will see myself out..

What happened when the Easter Bunny caught his head in the fan?

It took ears off his life!

Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?

Because you're breaking wind.

What song do you sing if you're not a fan of Christmas?

Sigh-lent night

How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan?

He was de-lighted

How do we know JFK was a fan of PDA?

He was all over his wife at the parade

Why is the Ferguson Police Department a fan of Pokemon?

Because you gotta catch Jamal

Why did the tree have lots of fans?

Because he was Poplar!

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Why was the football stadium so cold?

Because of all the fans.

What do you call a black guy with a fan?

Antique air conditioner.

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

Because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

Why didn't Darth Vader make it as a stand up comic?

Fans thought his sense of humor was a little too on the dark side.

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.

Why did the kid steal the fan?

He wanted to be cool.

Why did the film critic protest the new children's cemetery?

He's not a fan of juvenile plots.

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What does a Jamaican do when he sees a spaceman?

He parks his car, man.

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

Superbowl Jokes More Superbowl Jokes

Why did Eli Manning didn't react to the Broncos winning the Superbowl?

Because the fine bros would sue.

What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl?

He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why is Ponyboy lactose intolerant?

He hates Dairy but likes Sodapop.

Why do terrorists hate wine?

Because there are too many zinfandel's.

U2 Fan Jokes More U2 Fan Jokes

Why do you want your lawyer to be a U2 fan?

Cos they're always pro-Bono

Which lawyers are U2 fans?

The pro bono ones

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

What do Dallas Cowboys fans do after they win the Super Bowl?

They turn off their XBOX and go to bed!

How did the Canadian win the hockey game?

He took stEHreroids

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why do you bury lawyers 20 feet deep?

Because deep down they're good people

What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You should take your workboots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs and infinity pools.

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.

Trick Question Jokes More Trick Question Jokes

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

What do you call 50 feminists on a bus?

Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus.