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What do you call fans of the new iPhone 7?

Pod people.

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Why is Karl Marx a fan of the Galactic Empire?

He was born ina 1818.

Why are baseball players so cool?

They always have their fans around.

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What is your favorite thing the new iPhone can do?

Mine is distract me from my own mortality

How many bites out of the new iPhone did Tim Cook take?

16, 32, 64, and 128