Respect Jokes

How many Gentlesirs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Screw is such a harsh word, M'Lightbulb. I have too much respect for lamps to use it." Tips fedora

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Why don't poor people go to funerals?

They can't afford to pay respects.

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke?

Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

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Racist Joke Jokes More Racist Joke Jokes

How does every racist joke begin?

With a look over the shoulder.

What are the most racist jokes you know?

There were 3 car accidents in Mexico 70 people died. What do you call a bunch of black people in a swimming pool? Coco puffs.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?

14,000. 1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

How many PETA members does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They can't change anything.

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What do you call an octopus that fights sharks?

An octobrave. I'm sorry.

What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

How do you pay a quiz master?

With finances.

Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning?

Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

Why do famous and rich black people stay at the Ritz?

Because they are sold out to crackers!

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

Forgot Jokes More Forgot Jokes

Where can you always find kids by themselves?

Edit: i forgot to say please.

What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient?

I forgot.

Bow Jokes More Bow Jokes

Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting?

Because he didn't habanero

What has wings a long tail and wears a bow?

A birthday pheasant!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton?

The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts

What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.