Spill Jokes

What's it called when you make sure you don't spill the wine?

Being carafe-ful.

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What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell?

Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones.

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What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce?

Because it happened in the *past*a.

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

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What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans

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What did the psychic velociraptor say to his friend?

Dino what you're thinking.

What do you rate Megan Fox out of 10?

Friend: 9 Me: 9? I'll give her one..

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What's the hardest part of a gardener's job?

Getting to the root of the problem.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

Euler Jokes More Euler Jokes

What did Euler see in the toilet?

Natural log

What did Euler find in his toilet?

A natural log

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the last thing a tossed salad says to itself before being devoured by a human?

Lettuce pray

How do lesbians keep things interesting in the bedroom?

They think outside the box.

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Why did the farmer take a bale of hay to bed?

He wanted to feed his nightmares.

What do you call a horse at night?

A Nightmare

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do maimed people drink at 5PM?

An amputea

Why should you always invite more than one Baptist on a fishing trip?

Because if you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.

Keyboard Jokes More Keyboard Jokes

Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?

They're all paws.

What keyboard shortcut do the elderly have the most trouble with?

Ctrl+P