Spill Jokes

What's it called when you make sure you don't spill the wine?

Being carafe-ful.

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What's the phrase for when a bird spills a drink?

Party fowl.

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard?

Try to disable sticky keys.

Why don't they make bouncy houses for adults?

You'd spill your drink.

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

What do we call of spill of the world's most abundant resource?

A sunny day.

What did the spilled noodles say to the sauce pan?

I'm floored!

Why did the ebo(l)la patient yell?

Someone spilled wine (bolla) on his ELECTRONIC. (E)phones.

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What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

Why did the Green Giant get a new lid?

Because he always spills the beans.

What does Monsieur Homer say after spilling water on himself?

D'EAU!

What's your best limerick?

There once was a fellow McSweeny Who spilled some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth Then slipped his girlfriend a martini

Why did you dump those vegetables on my desk?

Criminal: You said it was time to spill the beans.

What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle?

You can spill your beer on a fiddle.

Why was the Dalai Lama not upset after he spilled spaghetti sauce?

Because it happened in the *past*a.

What do you call a hispanic man who spilled his nachos?

A messycan

What happens when someone spills really hot coffee on you?

You will get burned, you idiot.

Why did the egg spill his guts at an AA meeting?

He was addicted to crack.

Why can you never trust a clumsy barista?

Because she's always spilling the beans!

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

What do you call it when you spill your morning drive-through beverage on your virus scan software?

Getting McCafe on McAfee

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans

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Lap Jokes More Lap Jokes

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a dead chicken that likes to throw things?

A geist. Thanks! I will show myself out.

Why does Yoda like having a lot of things to do?

It makes his Dagobah faster.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

What do bad dancers have in common with Michael J Fox trying to use the soft serve ice cream machine?

They both have a hard time pulling off a twist.

Stain Jokes More Stain Jokes

How do I get out this stain?

Fire. How do you fix a car Fire. How do you break up with someone FIRE!

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do particle physicists like to drink?

Pina colliders.

Why do jihadists drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the french press...

Floor Jokes More Floor Jokes

What sound does a pubic hair make right before it hits the floor?

Ptui

Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine?

Because they'd been floored by his punch.

Disable Jokes More Disable Jokes

Why are all castles disabled?

They all have tur-rets

What do girls and parking spaces have in common?

All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

Why are shopaholics so hard to help?

They can be very "clothes"-minded about the problem.

What did the Math book say to the pencil?

I see your point I've got a lot of problems.