Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0)

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

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Athlete Jokes More Athlete Jokes

What do you call an athlete that smells good?

D. O. Durant

Why do athletes like Sports Illustrated Magazine so much?

There's nothing athletes want more to see in a magazine than sports and illustrations.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What do buccaneers let off on bonfire night?

Piratechnics!

What should you do when freedom calls?

Let it ring.

Paralympic Jokes More Paralympic Jokes

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What is better than getting a gold medal at the paralympics?

Having legs.

Signal Jokes More Signal Jokes

Which among them goes completely ignored?

The turn signals.

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?

They'll tell you

Why is a dog like a baseball player?

He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

Creep Jokes More Creep Jokes

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night?

Russell!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How many dwarves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two one to hold the bulb and the other to serve him beer until the room starts spinning.

What does a conspiracy theorist say when he breaks up with someone?

I think we should start seeing other sheeple.