Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0)

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

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Porpoise Jokes More Porpoise Jokes

What's the big deal?

It's not like I did it on porpoise!

Why was the dolphin depressed?

He felt he had no porpoise in life

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear?

It was a brief chase...

Why can't Mexico field a winning Olympic team?

Because everyone that can run, jump or swim is in the US.

Zero Jokes More Zero Jokes

How many zeros in one million?

Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*

What'd the scientist say to the man who was frozen to absolute zero?

Are you 0K

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathizers.

What's the difference between Reddit and 9Gag?

About 5 seconds.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

What do you call a race run by baristas?

A **decaf**alon

Who won the race?

Society.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

What happened to the cannibal who was late for dinner?

He got the cold shoulder.

Spill Jokes More Spill Jokes

Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server?

Just because ICANN.

What did the pope say when he spilled the sacramental wine?

Do we have any papal towels

Demon Jokes More Demon Jokes

What was the demon arrested for?

Possession.

Why do Demons and Ghouls hang out together?

Because Demons are a Ghouls best friend.