Meth Jokes

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

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What has 100 legs and 3 teeth?

A centipede on meth.

What made the New Mexican sad?

He was out of meth.

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth?

Geek Squad

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool?

Because they couldn't hold their trunks up!

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?

One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler!

What's the difference between Santa and Tiger Woods?

Santa stops after 3 Ho's

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Why are you putting on makeup, Mommy?

Me: So I look less tired. 3: Why are you tired Me: Because I'm a mom. 3: Why are you a mom Me: 3:

Meth Head Jokes More Meth Head Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

Redneck Divorce Jokes More Redneck Divorce Jokes

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What is your emergency?

Me: I love you. 911: Hang up. Me: No you hang up. 911: Stop. Me: This is so us.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall?

Art.

100 Jokes More 100 Jokes

How do you get 100 babies into a bowl?

A blender. How do you get them out Tortilla chips

What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear?

A wind tunnel!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

What type of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.