Meth Jokes

What do you call it when you spill meth into your cake mix?

Baking Bad

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What has 100 legs and 3 teeth?

A centipede on meth.

What made the New Mexican sad?

He was out of meth.

Why was the new Mexican sad?

He was out of meth. Why was the old Mexican sad All his friends are dead.

Why do people get addicted to meth?

Because they didn't think of the aftermeth.

What do you call a group of IT guys that smoke meth?

Geek Squad

What's the difference between math and meth?

One of them ruins your life. The other's just meth.

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What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?

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Why do artists die early in life?

Too many strokes.

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

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What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

Why can you trust a coffee roaster?

Because he never spills the beans

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Why couldn't Mike Tyson go to the laundromat?

Because it was clothed.

What does Mike Tyson do after 10pm?

He thlides into your DMth.

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What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

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What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

When people on Facebook say they lost their phone and need everyone's numbers again, I text them: "Guess who?

For 2 weeks.

Break Bad Jokes More Break Bad Jokes

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw Breaking Bad?

That's methed-up!

How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad?

None, they were all minerals.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

Where does Santa stash his money?

In a snowbank.

What do you call it when a sheep sells his wool for money?

Cashearing! (Joke I made up last night at work, so be gentle with me)