Meth Head Jokes

How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

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How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's a difference between a teacher and a train?

The teacher tells you to spit you gum out. The train says, "Chew, chew, chew!"

Why couldn't the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano?

Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her.

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

What did the judge ask when he went to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

What do crack addicts sing while caroling?

All I Want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

20 Jokes More 20 Jokes

Why was 9 afraid of 20?

28 29's

How much work does it take to send a packet across the internet?

20 Watts

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Borg does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them.

How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What do you call a piano composer that smokes?

Tarcoughski

What do the Montreal Canadians and marijuana addicts have in common?

Both of them smoke the leafs

Weeker Jokes More Weeker Jokes

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

What do you call a drug addict who has been awake for 14 days straight?

A "two-weeker"

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What are you going to be for Halloween dad?

Me: Drunk 9: What's mom gonna be me: Mad

What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy?

Lots a candy.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many MRAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Tires need changing too you know!

How many Osamas does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They don't have lightbulbs in caves