Meth Head Jokes

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?

Trunkquilizers!

What does a Maple leaf fan do when they win the cup?

Turn off their console and go to sleep.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

One is white, plastic, and dangerous for your kids to play with and the other holds your groceries

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask?

The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!

How do scaredy-cats answer the phone?

Yellow

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

What did the defendant say when he saw his picture hung up in the courtroom?

I've been framed.

What do you call two healthcare professionals hanging out?

A paramedics.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the cat say when I shut him in the refridgerator?

I don't know, I couldn't hear him through the door.

How do you know when a vegan gets to the party?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Set Jokes More Set Jokes

What do you get when a Game of Thrones character sets up your photo studio?

Stark lighting.

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

Good Thing Jokes More Good Thing Jokes

What's the best thing about elevator jokes?

They work on so many levels

What's the best thing about screwing twenty one year olds?

There are twenty of them.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What did the big chimmney say to the little chimmney?

Stop smoking. You are too young to smoke

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.