Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

Who's there! Allegra! Allegra who?

Allegra is broken!

Who's there! Alistair! Alistair who?

Alistairs in this house are broken!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What the Girlfriend, the Mistress and the Wife say Girlfriend: Are you done already?

Mistress: Are you done yet Wife: Beige... I think I'll paint the ceiling beige...

When I asked her why, she said "uhhh no real reason". I'm thinking, "no reason, huh?

So I punched her in the face. Now she has a reason.

Control Jokes More Control Jokes

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

The sphinxster....

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

WIFE: I clean the toilet.... HUSBAND:How does that help WIFE: I use your toothbrush.

Remote Jokes More Remote Jokes

What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn?

You can't play football with the remote.

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

She thought he was too controlling.

T.V. Jokes More T.V. Jokes

What's faster than a black guy running with a stolen T.V.?

His brother with the DVR

What's faster than a black guy running down the street with your T.V?

His brother holding the VCR.